It’s almost my one year of ” being diagnosed” with bipolar anniversary . One of the hardest things for me is describing my mania. Describing my depression is easy, at least for me.  One day I suddenly wake up, and can’t find the motivation to get up and go on with my day. I have to dig deep inside, sometimes real deep especially when school is out of session.  Everyday is the same, until I wake up and am overwhelmed with a burst of energy that just won’t quit.

My mania is harder to describe.  When most people hear mania, they think it’s great. Who wouldn’t want to be full of energy.   Mania has ruined many of my romantic relationships, at the time I didn’t know it was due to mania, but looking back it’s clear mania was a large contributor to the end of relationships.Relationships are already difficult, but throw in unmanaged bipolar and a partner who feels everything is their fault. The relationship is pretty much doomed from the start. I stumbled upon Ellen Fornery  who has bipolar disorder, and has written a memoir Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me. ( note I do not use the word suffers, I view bipolar as just being another one of my traits; I have brown ( currently blue) curly hair, brown eyes, and bipolar disorder). Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me is a graphic memoir, and it is the first time I have come upon a series of panels that help me describe my mania.